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I save a seat for silence beside me in the plane;
the chattering ape-boy behind me leans forward,
trying to strangle my neighbor. I smile,
teeth hissing death-wish for lax parental units.
Children are so lovely.

When you and I watch the clouds soar by,
or better yet, envelop us in too-thick love,
we drown a little in our own lungs.
Donít touch me, oh donít touch me please.
I have interpersonal rabies.

The daydreamed figures dance like boy scouts,
but they can sell like girl scouts too.
I am almost convinced, though these days
I only buy knives that cannot go in the dishwasher.
And I peel onions bravely.

I try to tell this to the stewardess, that vague distracted girl,
saying ďFly meĒ with her eyes wide in the commercial.
Now she offers me soda and peanuts with
that dripping, too-congenial smile. I grimace,
Blood sugar level skyrocketing.

Give me no saccharine stranger, please God,
if it is You whose acquaintance I met half an hour ago,
for I thought that You reached out to shake my hand
from a nebulous heaven beyond the window.
Such a firm grip, too.

These days it seems a man will either
snap your hand and splinter your fingers
or treat your knucklebones as eggshells.
Sometimes, Lord, I wonder if Youíre listening,

if I could eat my peanuts in peace.
Written for =PoetryPlease's challenge about pet peeves... I think perhaps the heart of my irritation may be a little too big.

Here, as you will see, I drift from sarcasm to daydreaming; reality to fantasy, if you will. Give me a break, it's hard to fit my schizophrenic self onto paper.
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:icondyrwen:
dyrwen Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2007  Hobbyist Writer
I enjoyed the feeling of seeing one on the plane with a smile, as they imagine something far worse. Like the chattering-ape behind or the concept of "interpersonal rabies".

It's quite lovely in its prose and rather clever.
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:iconinklover:
inklover Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2007
ingeniously done:clap: thats what i love about yur style of writing, it is thought provoking, and the imagery is great. loved it :heart:
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:iconsweetcapris:
sweetcapris Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2006
Omygosh, i didnt mean to say that four times. ahh. computer stupidity. gaa
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2006
:giggle: 'Sokay. This site can be mercurial. And you really drove your message home... Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond.
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:iconsweetcapris:
sweetcapris Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2006
wow. i really couldnt even follow up to those previous comments. holy crap. I'm usually not so "intimidated" when congratulating someone on a poem well done. but alas... i will make this comment simple, seeing as the page is filled with crazy social concepts and "spaghetti codes" that are far past what i could say. but anyway, GREAT POEM!! gee. and i enjoyed the comments nearly as much. lol. thumbs up, add fav!
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:iconsweetcapris:
sweetcapris Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2006
wow. i really couldnt even follow up to those previous comments. holy crap. I'm usually not so "intimidated" when congratulating someone on a poem well done. but alas... i will make this comment simple, seeing as the page is filled with crazy social concepts and "spaghetti codes" that are far past what i could conjure. but anyway, GREAT POEM!! gee. and i enjoyed the comments nearly as much. lol. thumbs up, add fav!
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:iconsweetcapris:
sweetcapris Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2006
wow. i really couldnt even follow up to those previous comments. holy crap. I'm usually not so "intimidated" when congratulating someone on a poem well done. but alas... i will make this comment simple, seeing as the page is filled with crazy social concepts and "spaghetti codes" that are far past what i could say. but anyway, GREAT POEM!! gee. and i enjoyed the comments nearly as much. lol. thumbs up, add fav!
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:iconsweetcapris:
sweetcapris Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2006
wow. i really couldnt even follow up to those previous comments. holy crap. I'm usually not so "intimidated" when congratulating someone on a poem well done. but alas... i will make this comment simple, seeing as the page is filled with crazy social concepts and "spaghetti codes" that are far past what i could say. but anyway, GREAT POEM!! gee. and i enjoyed the comments nearly as much. lol. thumbs up, add fav!
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2006
Yeah, I can understand how you'd be intimidated-- there are some pretty intense comments hereabouts haha. Thanks for braving all that. I am glad to hear that you like this poem; antisocial misanthropes should unite! (But that might be self-defeating.)
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:iconsweetcapris:
sweetcapris Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2006
hhahaha it would be self defeating, unless of course, we each had our own little corner equipped with a blank wall.

Keep cool! :hug: <oh wait>, you dont like to be touched. ahh. air hugs.
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:iconflappability:
flappability Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2006
hmm... this is a very heart-ruffling piece. Really adore how the subjects don't really flow into one another from stanza to stanza.
And the wonderful metaphors.


May your pencil never stop peeing. :)
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2006
Thank you so much for reading and leaving such an entertaining comment. :heart:
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:iconqueenhrosie:
queenhrosie Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2006
SO.

This is the best thing i have read lately, and I cant come up with a good comment with lots of gigantic words, so I will just say that I love it because I have slept too much today and my head hurts.

*kapow*
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2006
Thank you. Though I miss the opportunity to be showered with gigantic words... maybe next year. :P
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:iconyournotagoodbye:
yournotagoodbye Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2006
You're very good at writing. (if you haven't noticed;))
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2006
Thank you very much. :P
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:iconmello-dreamer:
mello-dreamer Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2005
very nice, like the theme carried throughout the whole piece, only one thing bothers me, and it's stupid, the whole interpersonal rabies line, it sounds nice and has good rhythm but all rabies are interpersonal, so it seems redundant. anyway, well done.
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2005
The word "interpersonal" generally connotes social interaction more than anything else, which is what I meant to imply here (but not, of course, say outright. That would be too easy.). Honestly I never thought of it as being redundant, but now that you mention it I suppose you could consider "rabies is interpersonal" axiomatic if you so desired. I am inclined to think of it, on a purely literal basis, as infection passed on largely by dogs, raccoons, etc. In any case, the reason I used "rabies" at all was because I thought the symptoms appropriate: "excitement, aggressiveness, and dementia, followed by paralysis and death," according to the dictionary. Thank you very much for reading and commenting (hopefully I didn't come on too strongly in defense of my word choice). I appreciate the feedback and I love your avatar.
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:iconmatch-box:
matcH-Box Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2005
Oh wow I love this. The sarcasm is great, and it is just an overall great piece of writing.
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2005
Thanks very much for reading.
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:iconinklover:
inklover Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2005
<i. while writing in metaphors and abstractness, one can get lost in anothers mind what they are trying to relate, although this was pretty straight forward to me, i like the concept and analolgies you used, quite clever :clap: if one gets lost is because one cannot go beyond their thoughts or concepts.....
good job:+fav:
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
Thanks. I hoped that no one would be too confused by it; it's hard to be objective about things when they make perfect sense to me. I'm glad that it wasn't difficult to follow. Thank you again for your kind comment.
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:iconjukas-kayne:
Jukas-Kayne Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2005
This pieces generates a quiet psychodynamical semblo-euphonicalistification combining the subtle marragination of nuo-sophophisticality with a grim motion of sarco-embleminalistic technotragic negonanalysis straight into the readers mind.
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2005
How can I hope to respond to that?

Thank you very much, I'd like to think. :giggle:
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:iconjukas-kayne:
Jukas-Kayne Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2005
C'mon - don`t you ever get bored with english too? So I rebelled. But that was my little attempt at homomalagical appreciative humour towards your poem. Glad you caught it I think? :) I do offer a full translitative service at no extra cost but I will have to wait for the full moon and the hairs to grow on the back of my hands.
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
Yeah, I caught that. Thanks for clarifying, though. And do I get bored with English? Don't make me laugh... I still have to study it in school. Glad you liked this, comrade, it means a lot. :salute:
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:iconjukas-kayne:
Jukas-Kayne Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2005
E.g. Homomalagical: [combination word] Homo (same) morphic (form), malodorous (sympathetic negativity) & magical.

So i was basically saying I am responding in kind to the magical sympathetic negativity demanded by the poem in an humourously appreciative way.
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
Awesome use of the language, dude.
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:iconjukas-kayne:
Jukas-Kayne Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2005
I don`t wish it to seem like I was being disinegenuous with my analysis of approaching your beautiful conceptual abstractive poetry with seemingly indecipherable gibberish which I guess could construe to be offensive at best and at worst to be unflattering overblown belittling or upstarting pretentious twaddle none of which I am aiming at or professing to transmitt. So I offer a more comprehensive explanantion to hopefully alliviate any such notions and to cememt the foundations that what I have seem you accomplish so far to be nothing short of remarkable, talented and gifted in ways I can only hope to imagine, learn from and aspire to.

"This pieces generates a quiet psychodynamical semblo-euphonicalistification combining the subtle marragination of nuo-sophophisticality with a grim motion of sarco-embleminalistic technotragic negonanalysis straight into the readers mind."

This my first reviewing attempt a conceptual poem with a conceptual english spagetti code, something that I am actually working on and evolving with on other projects and thought it appropriate to display here in best describing what I felt from the poem.

The starting point is technotragic. From reading the poem I gained a great sense of technology at work here - the plane, the knives, the dishwasher, the commerical, the saccahrine, the window - its all interwoven into some kind of tragic setting in someway and they form a great world-weary consistent view and backbone to the poem:"I save a seat for silence beside me in the plane", "I only buy knives that cannot go in the dishwasher",
"Give me no saccharine stranger, please God"


Negonanalysis: (combinative word) Negative analysis - but also in combining posessesing more a more global emphatic slant as those words are completely interwined just like they are within the poem towards more conceptual level as oppossed to remaining merely descriptive. In my opinion you give a negonanalysis which can convey many more exotic and subtle things depending on how its being modified wheras a negative analysis can only really stand for itself. And this concept is the most clearly evident within the poem in many interpretative and subtle forms and is not professing itself to be outright "negative analysis" (and nor would I slander myself in stating it thusly) which is why I left this word as the final and definival term in my review.

Sarco-embleminalistic - (combinative word) Possessing Sarcasm, embleminalised. Again a combinative word possessing the intertwination and marriage of two very important concepts within the poem harnessed in more subtle ways tham I would profess to distinguish them individually.

Therefore the complete phrase "with a grim motion of sarco-embleminalistic technotragic negonanalysis" conveys an in fact accurate and decriptive enough statement for what I tried to express yet leaves many interpretative options open for further detailed analysis, either through agreement or disagreement.

The first line of the review "a quiet psychodynamical semblo-euphonicalistification" refers to the introspective inwardisation of the inherent outwardisation of emotion of the poem and in comments in homage to the first line "I save a seat for silence" before bestowing the delicate touching of euphonical semblance of the wit and humour that are so characteristic and motivating within your works.

The central review line "the subtle marragination of nuo-sophophisticality" is in the blending of the technological background apparency of your burgeoning intellectual superiority yet still allows for the beguiling helplessness and avid fear from the meeting of worlds within this tensical situation: "sophomore" second year university or high school student - hence "sophosophisticality" - one possessing the educational and intellectual nous yet not quite sufficing her matural age in the eyes of others, and with the "nuo" hyphenated in front blends "nuo-sophosophisticality" as a technological statement perfectly set towards the angst and encapsulement felt by the modern thinking educated student trapped inside an emerging world of complexity and chaos.

"If only I could eat my peanuts in peace". Indeed. Well done. +Fav.
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2005
I just made an idiotic, teasing reply to your former comment and you respond like this; I'm a little in awe, firstly, of your use of language. A lot of what you said I would never have read into the words, but then again I wasn't taking them as literally as you perhaps intended. Secondly, this is one of the best comments I have ever received on anything I've written. You seem to have understood what I was trying to say almost exactly, and for that I am very grateful to you. I'm glad that everyone picked up on the sarcastic tone rather easily; often that just soars over people's heads and renders them incapable of understanding what I really mean. I think the phrase of your comment which means the most to me, having read your explanation, is "the subtle marragination of nuo-sophophisticality." Maybe that just strikes me because I am perceived as young-- alright, I am young-- and it seems to stop people from taking me very seriously. I'll be the first to admit I don't have very much experience, at the same time, so as you say and I'm sure nearly everything I write reflects, I am (and will probably continue to be for a few years yet) "trapped" in between. Lastly, I want to thank you again because you've absolutely floored me with your praise. I'm awkward with compliments at the best of times, and now I find I cannot think of anything meaningful enough to say to express that gratitude. So I'll just say thank you again: thank you, thank you, thank you. I hope you divine half the enjoyment out of reading my writing as I get from reading yours.
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:iconslayryder:
slayryder Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
lol.. ima dork. i read your description before i wrote my comment, but i kinda only skimmed, then i came back and RE-read it, and its everything i said but shorter :upset: and you know i have the O so gracious gift of over-explenation right?

:hug:'s for your schizophrenic self.. you do just fine. i on the other hand need some work. LOL
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2005
I don't think you need any help with your schizophrenia, though I can't say you've got it under control. :giggle: But what are you talking about? You are amazing at expressing yourself. It comes out at different times, but going through your gallery and reading your journal and talking to you (not all at the same time, though!) build a multi-faceted image and an almost-complete understanding of you. I've avoided humor in my writing for a long time because, quite frankly, it's so much easier to be funny when you can just say something clever and it's ha ha that moment and then everyone forgets about it. As opposed to writing it down and no one really understands the situation and the second or third reading it isn't funny anymore and You call this art? But trying to overcome that has made me feel a lot better and released a lot of the tension between my funny-public self and my angsty-private self. You should try it! Even if it's secretly. :paranoid:
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:iconslayryder:
slayryder Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
haha i hear that. i dont feel like i have a hard time expressing myself, its just that i have this overwelming need to be "understood". i hate being misunderstood, in the things i say. but what people dont understadn is, when i overexplain myself, its not becasue i want to, its becasue i feel like i HAVE to. i cant stop myself sometimes.. its actually a little frustrating. i know its immpossible for everyone to understand, and its prolly a selfish feeling on my part, but its something i cant seem to get over. maybe i just feel like i have to make people understand, whether they want to or not.. LOL
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2005
I know what you mean; it's really hard for me to tell if people get it or not (especially for jokes; when they don't laugh I just keep rehashing the same point over and over until they scream at me: "I get it! It's just not funny!" That makes you feel like a real winner).
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:iconslayryder:
slayryder Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
this is actually really really good. it definatly has an emotional flow and wave going on. i duely note the sarcasm, for its important and obvious. " I smile, teeth hissing death-wish for lax parental units. Children are so lovely." That sets the tone for your annoyances. it goes way beyond the acts themselves, and it goes byond the "general" annoyance of a plane ride, it encapsulates the root cause of all the things that annoy you. thought the sarcasm starts to drain after that and it gets enveloped with almost a desprate frustration.. " Donít touch me, oh donít touch me please. I have interpersonal rabies" i can relate to that stanza SO much, as soon as i read it i was sitting with my eyes clenched, and i could feel the hands we so desprately want away from us, floating around me.

the third section, seems like you gather yourself a little bit again, and then i feel the sarcasm creep in again, but its a much different kind of sarcasm. "I only buy knives that cannot go in the dishwasher.
And I peel onions bravely."
it almost feels like a warning? heh maybe even a little facetious. Then in the next part, its right back to the annoyance again. and its going into the core, one more time. The whole experience of each annoyance on the plane ride, is tied to something else. and then in turn it makes you annoyed about something else, then something else and so on. " I grimace, Blood sugar level skyrocketing." you showed how its a domino effect.

heh, then i see where it goes into daydreaming, though it feels more like an outcry. and a curiosity, almost a searching feel. and a hope that lingers around each word. and it kind of makes me think how people, will call out to God only when we get in situations that are too much, or difficult, or when we NEED it the most. But even still we call, and hope. and then as you go on i start to feel pain actually. it starts to get personal and a little deeper than just wanting the annoyances stopped, you want them choked at the root. But youre not sure if that what youre doing is even going to matter.

well, lol you portrayed annoyances extremely well, and not only that you really captured the way they spawn and how they are usually much deeper than the surface things we notice. that was a fun ride to take my dear. now cmon and tell me how off i was. LOL

oh and by the way. LOVE the title. a reminder wrapped in an affiramative statement. :D
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2005
You have it just right; as I said, it covers so many emotional states I really am not sure what to think of it. It's mostly about taking little irritations too much to heart, I suppose. Almost as though I'm plotting against the annoyance of everyday life. As for the "peeling onions bravely," that's to give me an excuse to cry, because I KNOW, I know I know, all the other reasons are too small to keep me believing I am strong. And the knives that cannot go in the dishwasher? Oh, those are the really classy ones, didn't you know? Hand-wash only, and the blade so sharp you're liable to sever a finger. It's to say 'I really do have high standards!' in a trivial and sarcastic way.
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:iconslayryder:
slayryder Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
yea i got the onion part as an excuse to cry, and i related to that well. for a long time and even still now, i never let anyone see me cry. i rarely DID cry.. but if i did it was amongst the privacy of me and myself. as the years have gone on.. and ive gotten older well all bets are off, cuz i can cry over some wack shit.. LOL but its still hard for me to cry infront of anyone..

i can see how you say, "taking little irritations to heart", it does show that, but i just saw it as these things that irritate us that seem so small and trivial, usualy are stemming from something LARGER than what we think. it was very clevarly written babe..
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2005
I hate crying. It makes me feel so worthless. Sometimes when other people are crying (and I know why) I start doing it too, because subconsciously it's impossible for me to offer genuine sympathy without making myself as vulnerable as they are. I think this because there is nothing in the world worse than crying in front of someone who isn't crying. They try to comfort me and it just ends up seeming so patronizing and I get so mad at them (though I guess that isn't fair) until it's really to the point that I hate them for seeing a moment of weakness. I really have this perverse need to relive moments of humiliation over and over; I never forget a tear. I don't cry very much at all nowadays. Let's see... this year (starting in September) two times:
1. My religion teacher confiscated a note to myself when I musing about my relationship with my brother. Really it's a sad tale; he's much better-looking than I am and I was just thinking about this. She called me out of my math class, took me into the chapel and by candlelight began to question me about my "family situation." I was calm for about 20 minutes of this, but she just kept pushing in a sensitive area so finally I cried and told her the truth. I felt that curious hollow waiting feeling afterward, longing for her reaction. She was very surprised and told me how I was "beautiful inside" and that I shouldn't think such things. That made me hate her.
2. We were on a retreat for school, and it was this really emotional time of the mess where we read letters from our parents. To make a long story short, I thought my letter was written by my dad but it wasn't in his style. I thought he was talking to me like I was retarded and it depressed me because everyone else was reading these really moving letters from their parents. I cried but it turned out that it was from my mom and then I felt like such an idiot. :bleh:

So yup that's my sorry life. I apologize for plaguing you with the whole sordid history after your (relatively) calm comment. :nerd:
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:iconslayryder:
slayryder Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2005  Hobbyist General Artist
i can guarantee you this much, that in time things will change. i can feel your words, becasue ive been there before. i felt so uncomfortable around people who were crying, becasue all i could do was put myself in their shoes, imagining sitting there opened up and vulnerable, and i dreaded that feeling. i always believed if i cried it was weak, though that was pounded into me over the years, it was something hard to let go of. and i still struggle with it at times. though ive learned that crying is your bodies way of releasing, its your spirits way of letting go of something. we do it, becasue we need to. choking back tears over and over, i found myself feeling toxic almost, until i was secure by myself to let them go.

you said "i hate them for seeing a moment of weakness", but really is it them you hate? or is it yourself youre angry with? see, human nature is a funny thing. we like to blame anything we can on anything but ourselves, when we need to look in the mirror more and point to our reflection.

i go through spirts.. LOL where i can cry over anything, and when i dont cry for a long time, and those times its usually a very subconscious emotion of needing to not feel whats going on. ive had quite a lot happen in my life thats worth crying over, and sometimes i feel like ive cried enough. as ive gotten older and my hormones have shifted and fucked with me, those are the times when i can cry at a cotton commercial.

i think in the end, realizing that crying is helpful sometimes, and "weakness" isnt measured in tears, will help us find that balance we are looking for.

oh and, never apologize again to me for telling me stuff :P :spank:

:heart:
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:iconyellowroses:
yellowroses Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2005
Of course it isn't really them I hate, not really, it's just that I always have to take out my anger over my vulnerability on them. Otherwise I don't think I could stand all the pressure on myself. On the bright side, I know I'm doing it and realize it isn't fair, and I don't really hold a grudge against them. I know I couldn't have done better in their situation, and that knowledge always makes it difficult to blame them too much. I don't think I've cried enough in my life, but I wouldn't change that at this point because there are so many people who would have taken advantage if I showed that I was upset. I relate completely to what you said about toughness being "drilled" into you; I was raised with my brother and, I think, more like a guy than a girl in many ways. I know girls who get so weepy and make big scenes over it and I hate that. I would never want to be that way. So for now I'm holding myself on a tight leash until I can safely establish a boundary where I'll be comfortable crying (and who I'll be comfortable doing it in front of). I've tried to cry when I'm alone, after holding it in for hours or days or longer, and found that the tears can't come anymore. Someday something will happen and I'll just snap and cry for two months straight. Mmm can't wait.
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